Monday, June 18, 2018
Me: your nails aren't that long. Are you sure you need them cut?
Ben: Yes, they hurt my bum when I scratch.
Anda: I think God had to make a hard decision whether I should be a human or a dog.
Hannah: Anda, which of these shoes is better?
Anda: Look, I'm not good with this kind of stuff. Let me go find Lilah.
Me: This is that pub where we did trivia last night.
Ben: Was I there?
Ben: Was I not born?
Dan: Anda can you take Ben to the bathroom? Oh... But he has to poop... Do you know how to wipe him?
Anda: Dad. I can figure it out.
Dan [in mid-January]: Oh, look kids, there are some deer!
Ben: I see them! Is Santa Claus coming here?
Me [to Anda]: Cool your jets.
Ben: My jets are cool!
Ben: I want to listen to "It will be long to get back to the planet."
Me:......."Rocket Man"? [yes]
Ben: Anda is almost growded. Just two more weeks for Anda to grow. Then she doesn't have to go to school anymore.
Ben: Lilah cannot carry me. Only people who are six can. Or seven or eight or nine or ten or robots I love robots!
Ben: We are three kids: Ben, Lilah, Anda! And I am three and Lilah is six and Anda is...... forty?
Ben: Is Papa blind or does he have hair? I don't remember.
Anda: Lilah, that's not a lot.
Ben: I did a lotter!
Lilah: What happens for Santa if you are a bad girl or boy?
Me: You get a lump of coal in your stocking.
Lilah: Oh. I thought he killed you.
Monday, October 9, 2017
Dan: What does the cow say?
Ben: Cow cow
Dan: Lilah, give me a hug
Lilah: Why haven't you made my dinner yet?!
Dan: I'm making it right now.
Lilah: Why isn't it on the table!?
Dan: Who wants a pizza party!
Lilah and Ben: ME!
Anda [deadpan]: That's alliteration.
Lilah [singing]: Baaaack to my breakfast. Not baaaaaack to the future....
Lilah: If a fly lands on your face it will give you germs. Then you will get sick for a cough or a hiccup.
Lilah: It broke it even though it was so medium!
Lilah [showing me her drawing]: They are naughty babies because they got their faces so dirty! They are going to dirty church. They're having a race to see who can be the dirtiest.
Anda: Daddy, is David Blaine David Pumpkins' brother?
Lilah [listening to a commercial with "La Virgen de la Macarena"]: This sounds like taco music.
Lilah: This picture will be so beautiful your socks are gonna come off.
Anda: You know "Deck the Halls?" What's "ancient trolls"?
Ben: Daddy cough rain!
Nana: What color is that?
[cloudy day] Ben: The sun broken.
[Our ancient oven was smoking and caught on fire, so we got a new one. Dan holds Ben up to look at the pizza in the window of the new oven.] Ben: Mmm! Not 'moking!
Anda: What does "no comprendo" mean?
Me: I don't understand.
Anda: Well, it's something in Spanish, what does it....oh.
Me: Good morning, Anda.
Anda: If Harry Potter was a unicorn he wouldn't have to spend a thousand bucks on a wand.
Me: I can't argue with that.
Lilah: What's a tick?
Anda: It's like a vampire. If you get one, the first thing you should do is panic so Nana knows she should come get it off of you.
Ben: Pekka Pig doos that. [Peppa Pig does that]
Lilah: Mom, you need a flashlight like this one on TV!
Anda: It can shine for 5 nautical miles!
Lilah: And stop robbers!
Ben [after moving to the baby swings]: This one not fall me out!
Anda: I'm so glad you bought those ice cream sandwiches. They are paradise in a bag!
Ben: Is lime a number or a letter?
Lilah: I'm the queen! What does a queen do besides walk around and give speeches?
Me: She can help people who have problems...
Lilah: I'm not the queen. I'm just a pretty lady.
Ben: What's a pool for money is it?
Me:…......How much does a pool cost?
Ben: Does bees have bums?
Me: I don't know. I guess so.
Ben: You want to call Google ask it?
Lilah: Why did you take a picture of yourself?
Me: It's for work.
Lilah: Why are you making that sss....face?
Me: Were you going to say stupid?
Me: Because I don't want to show my braces.
Lilah: Because it makes you look like a ten year old?